I don't know what has happened to me. Yes- I do. Actually. Probably. My defense paved the way too much now I find those daily small, silly interactions with people stupid. "Hi." "Heya~! How's it going?" It cringes me out. Unnecessity. Unproductiveness. Embarrassing. I know. I sound like a bitch. You want to tell me to shut up and I get it. I have no friends. My defense mechanism went wrong. Or have I always hated people? Irritable towards them. Like how my father prefers solitude. And how my mother gets hysterical over a little argument . Yet my father says that if my mentality were like mom's. Her audacity . Her confidence. Her sharp tongue. Her wits. ― Her cunningness. Dad, if I were like her, I wouldn't be writing here. I know, you'll never know I write here. I love you, dad. But your ex-wife is gone.